expectations vs reality

Expectations, good or bad?
i know i shouldnt expect alot.
i know i shouldnt.
i know.

yet, i still expect, and getting greedier.

it's rabbit year.

today, technically is forth day of lunar new year.
listening to all the oldies.
and feel like singing out loud.
but it's the middle of the night!
have assignments due not done yet.
have to do it soon.
yes. like probably morning.

havent been writting for a month.
no idea what to write.
no point in writing.
perhaps nobody is reading anyway.
jan passed rather quickly.
sch as usual.
mid terms are coming real soon.
yes i need to study. seriously.

this year went visiting, the usual places.
nothing much.
keep eating, from one place to another.

sometimes, seems to have so much things to do, yet i just cant make myself do something about it.
sometimes, seems like i'm too dependent. Independence is a very important condition. yes in statistics i mean. HAHA.
ok whatever.
sometimes, i dont know what am i thinking too.
sometimes.

well, life's short i know.
shouldnt think too much.
but cannot dont think also.
reality's too cruel.
and seems so hard to be myself sometimes.
gosh why i am emo-ing now.
i should stop before anything else happens.
haha.

that's all for now i guess.
GO STUDY MS KANG.

new year's eve.

it's been long since my last entry.
dec was fun.
was out almost everyday.
didnt work, yet spending so much.
bad me.

2010 coming to an end.
i've probably changed.
no idea what i've become.
i cant believe it too.
bad me.

it's the last day of the year.
so what?
another year will come.
probably with more things coming my way.
i hope i have the strength to face everything.
i feel kind of weak now.
oh well.
bad me.

getting tired.
shall go sleep.
goodnight.
hope i'll have sweet dreams.
sweet dreams for bad me.

useless me.

somehow...
i feel useless.

who am i?
why am i in this world? the earth wont stop rotating without me. i feel so small.
what am i supposed to do?
where should i be?
what should i work as?
why am i studying what i am studying?
why do i feel useless?

just feeling... unsure.

oh wells, sleep time people.
goodnight.

if only..

watched rapunzel with maggie, ter, ys & cj @ cine today.
not bad. typical fairy tale. who doesnt like fairy tales?! haha.
the chameleon is damn cute. seriously.

if only life is like a fairy tale...
then i dont have to think so much.
but i know it can never be.
oh wells.

had shuriken 2nd outing on tues. BBQ @ ECP.
like finally, so long after the 1st one that i organised.
was expecting more people to turn up, but ended only 9.
haha at least better than nothing ba!

been finding part-time jobs.
for money, for spending my time in a more useful manner.
haha.
SIAN.

BACK NEXT TIME!

one more.

one more paper. gek1511 - introduction to computing.
yes just one more for this sem.
btw, st2132 was terrible. totally.
it was worse than st2131.
sometimes i really wonder, am i in the right course?

there's so many so many things i want to do.
if only i dont have to consider so many things.
if only i dont have to care.

been busy studying for finals this two weeks.
actually wasnt really that productive.
anyway, it's over.
ok maybe not 'cus i have another paper to go.

i want money.
i need a job.
who wants to hire me?
the terrible me.

that's all for now.
be back again.
hopefully there's some happy things i could write about.
bye~

quickie.

yes i know.
i should go study.
will be, in a minute.

exams are coming.
cant wait for it to end.
but seems like i'm not prepared.
argh.
oh wells.

been thinking alot again.
but i cant stop thinking can i?

alright, going back to facebook.
yes, literally FACE the textBOOK.

Till then.