edge of breaking down.

i'm gonna break down soon.
facing pressures from teachers.
facing pressures from cca.
feeling guilty everytime.
lesser and lesser sleep each day.

feel like crying, yet tears refuse to flow.
feel like shouting, yet voice doesnt seems to come out.

i need help.

yesterday + today. haha.

had to stay back yesterday after sch to make up for the chem prac tt i missed.
it kind of made me 'pissed'.
the teacher didnt even brief us on the experiment la.
and tt's my purpose for gg to the makeup!
angry.
ok never mind.
den i was on my way home.
waited very long for the bus 853.
finally the bus reached, but it was super super cramped.
packed like sardines.
but i managed to squeeze myself in anyway.
people on the bus was busying complaining tt they've waited very long for the bus and told the driver that they are gg to report it to the 'boss'. (in chinese la haha)
poor driver. he tried to explain that there was an accident somewhere, that's why the delay.
but apparently nobody was willing to accept that explanation and continued saying how long they've waited.
all he got was just continual complains throughout the whole bus journey.
the few stops after the one tt i board the driver didnt stop cause it's very full le.
and i could see the fustrated faces on the people waiting @ the bus stop when the bus just didnt stop.
bet they're scolding in their hearts.
oh ya, the driver look like one of my classmate. ha!
ok back to tt. erm ya. ok. finally after some stops there are ppl alighting.
and those coming up was squeezing in like there's still a lot of space.
when we've reach like yio chu kang station there, the bus was less packed.
but there's this auntie who's standing right in the middle of the bus and refusing to budge.
i mean is like since there's still space she should like move so the front wont be so cramped up.
but she didnt la! hai.
anyway, when the bus reach my stop is quite normal le.
yup yup.
and i dozed off without doing my econs hmk that i need to hand in today.
woke up @ 430 am this morning and still didnt finish it.went to sch today and ms hazel said the deadline will be extended to tml since it'll be counted in our block test.
...
ok i'm not complaining. ha.

today was quite as usual, but we've got a surprise.
morning assembly our principal told us mediacorp will be coming to our sch for the prize presentation of the DV campus. (by the way it's a competition)
yup. and during assembly, we thought we're having reading programme.
but...
we got to witness the prize presentation!
haha. and the news reporter lin qi yuan came too!
well, he looked quite handsome in person. ha. and quite tall too!
anyway, yup. think u could have guessed why they chose our school for the prize presentation.
NYJC got the 1st prize!
haha. and they'll air it on mediacorp channel 8 on fri during the evening 6:30 news.
remember to watch (out for me). haha.
facing the stage, i'm sitting more to the left side of the LT. middle or more to the back de.
haha. and i went home straight after sch.

i've got to complete my hmk!
seems to be never ending. and the fact that CNY is coming, and the teachers kept saying that we would not study during the CNY weekend, they are drowning us with hmk.
ok, but it's quite true la. and i haven buy new year clothes yet!
sad!
every year also last minute den buy de.
hai!

but at least there's something to be happy about ba.

shall stop here for the day!
=)

perseverance is what i need.

MUMMY's BDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! *MUCKS*=)

it's my mum's bday today and i'm feeling so guilty to have forgotten it.
sry sry sry.
1st time tt i forgot it's her bday.
anyway, my sis bday coming soon too!
yup yup.
pics another day. haven upload. =)

today wasnt tt of fun. esp training.
coach was angry. didnt see him so angry before.
and i didnt play well today.
just feel like slapping myself.
hate myself for being so lazy. so bad. so not concentrating.
lessons was still ok i guess.
oh ya. had a class test on thermal physics today. haha.
terrible man. well not really tt terrible ba.
dun know quite some stuff.
anyway it's over le.

yesterday went out to paya lebar (ok i dunno if it's spelled like tis).
yup, went 'this fashion'.
thot could like buy some CNY clothes. but in the end didnt buy anything.
and i was like damn pissed la.
sort of angry with myself. plus hor my mum say we'll go back to northpoint.
i was like 'wt...'
didnt really even got clothes for CNY and is like next week is CNY le la.
sometimes i really wish there isn't CNY so i dun need to be so fustrated every year as to what clothes to buy.
i wanted to buy dress de. but hai... forget it.
ignore me. maybe i'm just PMS-ing.

anyway, was looking around @ friendster.
haha. tommy viewed me!
he's one of my school pe teacher. haha.
didnt expect him to view me leh!
ok i think i'm getting abit too excited.
lol.

ok, i'm having a econs quiz tml.
yet i dun have my notes with me.
so how am i gg to study for it?
and my hmk is piling up, waiting for me.
it's slowly collecting dust already.
HELP!

it is no fun to be in J2. seriously.
time is like so precious. every second counts.
everything is serious.
yet, i dun want to u-turn.
i want to do well in all my tests.
i want to do well for my block test.
i want to do well for my mid-year.
i want to do well for my prelims.
i want to do well for my A levels.
i want to do well in my cca.
i want to excel in my cca.
i want...

there's lots and lots of things that i want.
yet i know i shouldnt be so greedy.
perhaps i should learn to be contented.
perhaps i should put in more effort.
perhaps i should concentrate more.
perhaps i should really stop watching tv.

i sort of looking forward to working life.
perhaps until then would i know the true happiness of being a student.

feeling guilty again...

i back blogging again.
i know i shouldnt be blogging so much, i should be studying.
but i jus need so listening ears.
or a space to express my feelings tt i dunno how to say out.
yesterday didnt do any hmk again.
set alarm to wake up in the morning to do, but my laziness just cant leave me alone.
so i went to sch without any work done. =(
anyway, after sch, celebrated daniel's bday.
lol. the cake got he and his crush name. ha.
den after tt went lib to study.
in the end i slept thru until it was time to go watch 'The One'.
starting wasnt really good but the better ones are at the back.
there's this girl. damn nice la she sings. but her dress sense a bit...
didnt really make an effort to dress up. haha.
most probably is that she wants to win thru her own 'shi li'.
ok. went home after tt. hehex.
so here i am!!!

i should really concentrate. how can i focus?

no mood.

seriously got no mood to study.
today during assembly teacher showed us the university admission of our seniors.
abit worried for myself.
anyway, was on my way home and i met someone from my sec sch.
dont really remember him. and he just sort of talked to me.
thinking of it, now i remember le!
last time when cchy was still @ the sembawang campus we had this school bus that fetch us home.
he was tt guy tt always sit behind me. haha.
and actually got talk la.
but after we moved into the new campus, didnt see much of him.
quite surprised he still remember me. ha.
i've forgotten him le. and his name too.
so sry. haha.

it's time to do work my girl!

tests down!

right.
only left gp common test paper 2 because of my eye inflammation!
taking it tml.
if not i would be more relax.
anyway the phy and maths test was quite ok ba.
can pass but wont score.
anyway, what more can i ask for when i didnt really study cause of the shortage of time?
and i'm looking forward to sunday!
most probably gg out with mummy to buy new year clothes!
and counting down... 15 days to CHINESE NEW YEAR!
yeahh.
shall go do my econs work. if not have to go econs clinic.
anyway, it's not really a bad thing to go clinic haha.
just take it as a revision.
haha.
okie dokie.
stopping le!

was just thinking: time isnt really on our side, is it? and am i getting stupid-er? i felt so.

eye inflammation...

what a time for this stupid eye inflammation la.
my right eye was abit pain on thurs, but i thot it was nothing serious.
to my surprise, i woke up with my eye damn swollen.
despite tt, i still went school yesterday.
haha. but i left to see doctor after morning assembly.
so i missed chem test, and gp common test paper 2.
and just now mr lim msg me to ask me if i am ok and told me to retake the test on monday morning. SIANZ!
and tues got maths and physics test!
hai. so busy busy busy.
and i still have homework not finished.

ok enough of these no happy stuffs.
anyway, went to Home Team Academy yesterday to attend my bro graduation ceremony.
my uncle and neighour was there too.
lol.
I'm so proud of my bro! he got the best trainee award for his squad la!
i think mummy and daddy also very proud of him, to be the best out if 40 ppl in his squad. haha.
and hor, my bro's sir thot i was his gf. haha.
do i look like my bro's gf? lol.
shall upload the photos after i've transfer them into the com.
=)
basically i didnt do anything yesterday. went home after i see doc, and slept till it was time to go my bro graduation ceremony. hehex.
and today i woke up late, it was time to go orchard meet my teammates for bday celebrations.
lol.
gave XM and K a surprise and ate at n.y.d.c.
the food is ex and not very nice. well, i doesnt satisfy my taste buds.
but the cake is good. can go there for the cake but not for its meal ba.
after tt they go training and i went home because of my dear right eye.
haha. and now here i am bloggin! hehe.
i should go and bathe and strat doing work shouldnt i?

mummy's bday coming soon!!! =)