edge of breaking down.

i'm gonna break down soon.
facing pressures from teachers.
facing pressures from cca.
feeling guilty everytime.
lesser and lesser sleep each day.

feel like crying, yet tears refuse to flow.
feel like shouting, yet voice doesnt seems to come out.

i need help.

yesterday + today. haha.

had to stay back yesterday after sch to make up for the chem prac tt i missed.
it kind of made me 'pissed'.
the teacher didnt even brief us on the experiment la.
and tt's my purpose for gg to the makeup!
angry.
ok never mind.
den i was on my way home.
waited very long for the bus 853.
finally the bus reached, but it was super super cramped.
packed like sardines.
but i managed to squeeze myself in anyway.
people on the bus was busying complaining tt they've waited very long for the bus and told the driver that they are gg to report it to the 'boss'. (in chinese la haha)
poor driver. he tried to explain that there was an accident somewhere, that's why the delay.
but apparently nobody was willing to accept that explanation and continued saying how long they've waited.
all he got was just continual complains throughout the whole bus journey.
the few stops after the one tt i board the driver didnt stop cause it's very full le.
and i could see the fustrated faces on the people waiting @ the bus stop when the bus just didnt stop.
bet they're scolding in their hearts.
oh ya, the driver look like one of my classmate. ha!
ok back to tt. erm ya. ok. finally after some stops there are ppl alighting.
and those coming up was squeezing in like there's still a lot of space.
when we've reach like yio chu kang station there, the bus was less packed.
but there's this auntie who's standing right in the middle of the bus and refusing to budge.
i mean is like since there's still space she should like move so the front wont be so cramped up.
but she didnt la! hai.
anyway, when the bus reach my stop is quite normal le.
yup yup.
and i dozed off without doing my econs hmk that i need to hand in today.
woke up @ 430 am this morning and still didnt finish it.went to sch today and ms hazel said the deadline will be extended to tml since it'll be counted in our block test.
...
ok i'm not complaining. ha.

today was quite as usual, but we've got a surprise.
morning assembly our principal told us mediacorp will be coming to our sch for the prize presentation of the DV campus. (by the way it's a competition)
yup. and during assembly, we thought we're having reading programme.
but...
we got to witness the prize presentation!
haha. and the news reporter lin qi yuan came too!
well, he looked quite handsome in person. ha. and quite tall too!
anyway, yup. think u could have guessed why they chose our school for the prize presentation.
NYJC got the 1st prize!
haha. and they'll air it on mediacorp channel 8 on fri during the evening 6:30 news.
remember to watch (out for me). haha.
facing the stage, i'm sitting more to the left side of the LT. middle or more to the back de.
haha. and i went home straight after sch.

i've got to complete my hmk!
seems to be never ending. and the fact that CNY is coming, and the teachers kept saying that we would not study during the CNY weekend, they are drowning us with hmk.
ok, but it's quite true la. and i haven buy new year clothes yet!
sad!
every year also last minute den buy de.
hai!

but at least there's something to be happy about ba.

shall stop here for the day!
=)

perseverance is what i need.

MUMMY's BDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! *MUCKS*=)

it's my mum's bday today and i'm feeling so guilty to have forgotten it.
sry sry sry.
1st time tt i forgot it's her bday.
anyway, my sis bday coming soon too!
yup yup.
pics another day. haven upload. =)

today wasnt tt of fun. esp training.
coach was angry. didnt see him so angry before.
and i didnt play well today.
just feel like slapping myself.
hate myself for being so lazy. so bad. so not concentrating.
lessons was still ok i guess.
oh ya. had a class test on thermal physics today. haha.
terrible man. well not really tt terrible ba.
dun know quite some stuff.
anyway it's over le.

yesterday went out to paya lebar (ok i dunno if it's spelled like tis).
yup, went 'this fashion'.
thot could like buy some CNY clothes. but in the end didnt buy anything.
and i was like damn pissed la.
sort of angry with myself. plus hor my mum say we'll go back to northpoint.
i was like 'wt...'
didnt really even got clothes for CNY and is like next week is CNY le la.
sometimes i really wish there isn't CNY so i dun need to be so fustrated every year as to what clothes to buy.
i wanted to buy dress de. but hai... forget it.
ignore me. maybe i'm just PMS-ing.

anyway, was looking around @ friendster.
haha. tommy viewed me!
he's one of my school pe teacher. haha.
didnt expect him to view me leh!
ok i think i'm getting abit too excited.
lol.

ok, i'm having a econs quiz tml.
yet i dun have my notes with me.
so how am i gg to study for it?
and my hmk is piling up, waiting for me.
it's slowly collecting dust already.
HELP!

it is no fun to be in J2. seriously.
time is like so precious. every second counts.
everything is serious.
yet, i dun want to u-turn.
i want to do well in all my tests.
i want to do well for my block test.
i want to do well for my mid-year.
i want to do well for my prelims.
i want to do well for my A levels.
i want to do well in my cca.
i want to excel in my cca.
i want...

there's lots and lots of things that i want.
yet i know i shouldnt be so greedy.
perhaps i should learn to be contented.
perhaps i should put in more effort.
perhaps i should concentrate more.
perhaps i should really stop watching tv.

i sort of looking forward to working life.
perhaps until then would i know the true happiness of being a student.

feeling guilty again...

i back blogging again.
i know i shouldnt be blogging so much, i should be studying.
but i jus need so listening ears.
or a space to express my feelings tt i dunno how to say out.
yesterday didnt do any hmk again.
set alarm to wake up in the morning to do, but my laziness just cant leave me alone.
so i went to sch without any work done. =(
anyway, after sch, celebrated daniel's bday.
lol. the cake got he and his crush name. ha.
den after tt went lib to study.
in the end i slept thru until it was time to go watch 'The One'.
starting wasnt really good but the better ones are at the back.
there's this girl. damn nice la she sings. but her dress sense a bit...
didnt really make an effort to dress up. haha.
most probably is that she wants to win thru her own 'shi li'.
ok. went home after tt. hehex.
so here i am!!!

i should really concentrate. how can i focus?

no mood.

seriously got no mood to study.
today during assembly teacher showed us the university admission of our seniors.
abit worried for myself.
anyway, was on my way home and i met someone from my sec sch.
dont really remember him. and he just sort of talked to me.
thinking of it, now i remember le!
last time when cchy was still @ the sembawang campus we had this school bus that fetch us home.
he was tt guy tt always sit behind me. haha.
and actually got talk la.
but after we moved into the new campus, didnt see much of him.
quite surprised he still remember me. ha.
i've forgotten him le. and his name too.
so sry. haha.

it's time to do work my girl!

tests down!

right.
only left gp common test paper 2 because of my eye inflammation!
taking it tml.
if not i would be more relax.
anyway the phy and maths test was quite ok ba.
can pass but wont score.
anyway, what more can i ask for when i didnt really study cause of the shortage of time?
and i'm looking forward to sunday!
most probably gg out with mummy to buy new year clothes!
and counting down... 15 days to CHINESE NEW YEAR!
yeahh.
shall go do my econs work. if not have to go econs clinic.
anyway, it's not really a bad thing to go clinic haha.
just take it as a revision.
haha.
okie dokie.
stopping le!

was just thinking: time isnt really on our side, is it? and am i getting stupid-er? i felt so.

eye inflammation...

what a time for this stupid eye inflammation la.
my right eye was abit pain on thurs, but i thot it was nothing serious.
to my surprise, i woke up with my eye damn swollen.
despite tt, i still went school yesterday.
haha. but i left to see doctor after morning assembly.
so i missed chem test, and gp common test paper 2.
and just now mr lim msg me to ask me if i am ok and told me to retake the test on monday morning. SIANZ!
and tues got maths and physics test!
hai. so busy busy busy.
and i still have homework not finished.

ok enough of these no happy stuffs.
anyway, went to Home Team Academy yesterday to attend my bro graduation ceremony.
my uncle and neighour was there too.
lol.
I'm so proud of my bro! he got the best trainee award for his squad la!
i think mummy and daddy also very proud of him, to be the best out if 40 ppl in his squad. haha.
and hor, my bro's sir thot i was his gf. haha.
do i look like my bro's gf? lol.
shall upload the photos after i've transfer them into the com.
=)
basically i didnt do anything yesterday. went home after i see doc, and slept till it was time to go my bro graduation ceremony. hehex.
and today i woke up late, it was time to go orchard meet my teammates for bday celebrations.
lol.
gave XM and K a surprise and ate at n.y.d.c.
the food is ex and not very nice. well, i doesnt satisfy my taste buds.
but the cake is good. can go there for the cake but not for its meal ba.
after tt they go training and i went home because of my dear right eye.
haha. and now here i am bloggin! hehe.
i should go and bathe and strat doing work shouldnt i?

mummy's bday coming soon!!! =)

tests tests and more tests!

tests are coming up!
fri gp common test paper 2 + chem lecture test.
next mon maths lecture test.
next tues phy lecture test.
only left econs dun have written test.
but had a mcq online test. had to get it done by sun!
time is really not enough. or should i say i feel that it's not enough!
haha.
went the soup spoon after sch today.
J & T asked me if i wanted to go. haha.
shared 2 meal sets with Z and YS.
as expected, soup is the main dish. haha.
we ordered one mushroom and one clam chowder. (i think tt's how it's spelled)
lol. ok. not bad la. just a bit too ex.
den was on our way to the mrt, ate some sort of doughnut but it's not la.
dunno what it's called. haha.
got a pic:
chocolate madness.
den went home. cause got alot of things waiting for me in the to-do list.
yup yup.
happy homeworking ting! haha.

It's a sunday!
i'm @ home, doing what?
HOMEWORK!
ok i know i shouldnt be complaining.
i'e been complaining too much le.
hahas.
after training yesterday, was on my way home, saw this ambulance, with it's siren on, it set me thinking:
life's so fragile. there are people leaving every single day. i know it's part of nature. there's nothing we can do. but it's just so sad.
ok. guess what! i slept for almost 12 hours last night!
slept early @ about 8 plus 9. and i woke up @ 9 today.
abit guilty tt i didnt do any work yesterday.
lol.

it's time to really start working hard! =)

it's just a normal day again!

yesterday finally got a chance to play tennis!
haha. during pe. always wanted to learn.
but yesterday the weather not good, so we just did some basic staff.
had a real good laugh thanks to YL & her friends! haha.
mr loo laughed with us too.
cause we're supposed to his the ball with our rackets to pick up the ball.
in the end, they squat down to hit the ball, like 'da xiao ren'.
haha. it was damn funny la.
i was jus thinking, it'll only be so good if i can laugh like tt everyday.
celebrated LX's bday too!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LIXIANG!!! =)
yup, the cake is as usual, delicious.
den during training also quite fun. haha.
our team now got alot of ppl la!
like more than 12 le. lol.
anyway, i just came home from sch. quite tiring la.
had a GP common test. wrote quite little la. haha.
just hope tt i can pass.
and lots of homework to catch up leh.
and CNY is coming! haven buy new clothes yet! hehe.
maybe gg to buy with Z or C or who ever is free ba.
ok ba. just gg to stop here.
shall let the pics do the talking for yesterday... =)

me with bday girl! ella wanted to join in. hahas.

lalalalala...

another day just passed.
lol.
had a good laugh just now, during the cca bazaar.
was actually doing maths at first, but sort of gave up and went to play vb.
damn funny... haha. really cant describe. just fun!
played till about 6 plus. =P
anyway, before the cca bazaar, we had this assembly (and i forgot to bring tie again!).
the teacher played us a sort of inspiring video clip. lol.
the pictures are damn beautiful la!
waterfalls, sunsets, ocean...
u'll be mesmerised by it man! and the words...
i only can remember 1 full one... the rest all half half de.
here it is:
dont cry because it's over, laugh because it happened.
a bit deep ya? hehe.
hmm... oh ya!
THANK YOU LIXIANG FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT! (ppl see tag board).
lol.
my sort of late new year resolutions is to manage my time and my emotions.
CONTROL GIRL! =)

sick sick sick...

down with flu yesterday.
eh. sleep after i bathe. haha
didnt do any homework.
haven really been able to do work.
always feeling so tired and no mood to do.
today, my voice changed! haha.
actually sort of loss my voice la. but is not sore throat leh.
haha.
anyway, tml having CCA bazaar.
i think we dont really need to recruit any members ba.
we've got more than enough!
lol.
lessons yesterday and today is well, as usual, boring.
and training ended around 930 last night!
haha. but it was fun...
anyway, i seriously need a remedy to cure my sleepiness.
if i continue sleeping so much, i'll be dead man!
tests are coming up really fast u know...

do u know how much i hated it???

*yawns*

just yawn before i started writing. lol.
tiring man.
today training @ 11am.
so i woke up @ 9am. hehe.
but dunno why still feel very tired leh.
training was okay ba.
very fustrated when i cant play well.
oh ya. monday coach say we gg to have friendly with thailand team.
heard they're damn good and we're going to die.
haha.
hope everything goes well!
our new maths teacher quite strict. haha.
ok tt's random i know.
still got homework haven finish and tests are comming up real soon.
i think i'm lack of sleep. had been sleeping only 4 hours a day since sch started. =(
i want to sleep!!!

Let's reflect!

reflecting seems to be something that my principal love.
today first day @ sch, first lesson is with ct.
not really is lesson lah, just handed in homework and chat all the way.
then we're to proceed to LT4. and the first thing we see on the screen when we stepped in is "LET"S REFLECT".
he never fails to tell us to reflect. really.
here's some things that we're suppose to reflect about:
1. if u were to go through JC1 again, how would u do it differently? List 3 things that u would do.
2. What are your wishes for 2008?
3. What are your wishes for the college?

well there's one part on his slides today that's quite meaningful. here it is:
Changing your thinking changes your beliefs. Changing your beliefs changes your attitude. Changing your attitude changes your expectations. Changing your expectations changes your performance. Changing your performance changes your future. Changing your future changes your life.

i seriously think that me being promoted was abit because of luck. wasnt really having good results since i stepped into the college. perhaps is because i've been playing too much, watching too many tv programmes and stonning too much.

i've been admitted to NY through DSA. didnt really consider getting in through DSA at first but coach offered whether i wanted to try. so i just give it a try and surprisingly i'm accepted. this meant that i had to give up my whole holiday after the o's to go for trainings. my initial plan was to work.

Volleyball has become part of me. trainings are thrice a week. that's alot. seriously i dunno how i feel about volleyball. u can say it's a mixed feeling ba. sometimes not playing volleyball made me miss it. sometimes i really dread going to trainings. but i know the passion for volleyball deep inside me will not fade with time.

Starting sch last year was abit exciting, at the same time scared. Luckily for me, i had my sis in sch with me. at least if anything happens i can find her. i was in OG19, quite a fun one but not until the 3rd day of orientation. we won the best enthu OG. LOL. Quite surprising right, cause i think i'm quite an introvert. i'm posted to class 0712 and then lessons start officially but nobody was serious in learning. play is the word in all our minds. thinking back, i think most of us really regret playing too much! haa.

Got into a good class, 0710, for JAE. quite a fun class i say. and it's from this class i learnt alot of things not from textbooks. and i seriously think my classmates are too intelligent, which made me feel like i so not smart. Stress is the word whenever exams or tests approach. believe me, being at the bottom few of the class is not a good feeling. and sometimes i'll think whether i made the right choice to go into a junior college. perhaps i'm abit 'hao sheng'. is like i will be bothered about results and stuff and i'll care alot whether i'm better than some people anot. sort of something like concern about winning and losing ba. i really dun like it when people compare me with others, so i'll try to be better so it's not too embarassing when people compare. and i seriously think i get jealous quite easily, but like lightnings, it comes fast and goes off fast. haha.

ending last year was the trip to Shanghai, suzhou and hangzhou with my teammates. had loads of fun and really memoriable. i guess we dont really get such a chance to go travelling. =)

tt's the end of 2007.

there's really no time to waste for this year. after march hols will be block tests. this determines if we had to make a u-turn to JC1 since we're not prepared for A lvls. then will be midyear after the june hols, and prelims in early sep. 10 oct will be our graduation day and A lvls will be just about 2 weeks after that day. it all seems so fast! time is running fast when one's busy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

IT'S 2008!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1st day of this yr, i'm stuck @ home finishing up my holiday assignments.
just blame on me that i didnt work hard enough during the school hols.
tml need to hand in a few assignments which i'm still rushing out.
hope and pray tt i can finish.
hope tml and the rest of the year goes smmothly for me!
lol.
kept repeating right?
shall come back and tell u about my first day being in JC2.
JIA YOU!