seriously!

seriously, as the days pass, the 'nervousness' is growing.
growing silently.
heart & mind want's me to continue.
yet i'm feeling so tired.

seriously know that i should be mugging now, with block test coming in 3 weeks time.
seriously know that i should be mugging now, with A levels approaching.
yet, those notes + concepts just turn their backs @ me.
yet, those tutorials + tests just keep me out.

i know i'm complaining too much,
yet i cant seemed to tell anyone.

and that GP tuition, that tutor is rising his price.
and i told C that i wont be continuing le. since it's so ex.
maybe i should just increase the no of consultation with my GP teacher.
@ the same time, i dun need to spend the money on tuition.

time teleports!

well well, yet another day had passed.
went C house for GP tuition today.
yup 1st time. actually didnt want the GP tuition cause quite ex.
but C say can find another person so wont be so ex.
BUT...
the tutor said 2 is the most he wants cause too many not good.
so i'm like ok...
abit sian after he gave us so many things to do.
adding more to-dos onto my list!
SIANZ!

anyway, just finish watching the 'chingay parade' @ ST 61.
haha. my hse there.
the 'hua che' parade pass... quite fast though. haha!
i wonder how much electricity is needed to operate all those vehicles with such bright lights!

and hor. i seriously think mayday de ah xin is shuai! (mind u is di 4 sheng)
haha. dunno why. just liked him! haha.
anyway, mike he is too! haha.
it's just so shuang to see them. haha.
ok i know i've been dreaming too much.
i know.

it's back to work now.
reality.

249 days to A levels!

busy busy wk...

今天也不知道为什么要用华文来写...

这个星期过得好累, 好累...

hai, i think write in eng easier, and faster. haha.
yup i was saying, a busy week passed.
due to training on mon, didnt actually study for the econs and phy test on tues.
as a result, i flunked my phy test, left like half the paper not done.
damn angry + pissed + disappointed with myself.
ok la, cannot totally blame training. blame it on my 'last-minute-ness studying'.
thurs, had maths test on integration. cant do either.
had the feeling of guilt again.
guilty that i didnt study enough.
guilty that i didnt managed to finish my tutorials on time.
i just find it harder and harder to face my teachers.

i need to run faster, yet i'm lack of oxygen.

baby, ah ga ga...

it's just so amazing that a baby could make someone smile, just by looking at him smiling.

it's even more amazing that a baby could make someone do all sorts of faces and noises just to make him smile.

it's just so amazing that a baby could make you like him so much.

it's just so amazing...

it's time to continue work.

life is just so, isnt it?

今天就用华文来写吧!
我也不知道为什么...哈!

人生就是这样,不是吗?
现实就是如此的残酷
我也不知道我到底在坚持什么
有人说: 人生如戏, 戏如人生
但我的人生是如此的风平浪静
也不觉得有什么东西是值得开心的
我知道我不该那么悲观
毕竟还有人过得比我惨
但我就是会不知不觉的去想它
有时真的希望自己不要长大
这样一来就不需要想那么多
也就不会那么烦
人也能快乐些
生活里的无奈与无助已成为了一种习惯
形影不离
真想知道开心的秘诀!
虽然如此, 我却庆幸拥有家人和朋友的陪伴
为我的生活添上了色彩

哇! 用华文写还真的有点难
因为电脑没有那个能写华文的软件
今天就写到这里吧!

it's valentine's day.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY + FRIENDSHIP DAY!

most things that i got today was chocolates, everyone was giving out chocolates lar!
got a no. of things from friends. yup friends.
1st thing i got was a flower that CF made herself.
didnt quite expect her to give lah. ha. ok. i did make something for her kz...
anyway, after that i reach sch and morning assembly was super long today.
damn lot of announcements. and then 1 guy came up and started talking about the origin of valentine's day. ha!
not many was listening as usual, since we're all so excited about those flowers that we recieved.
sadly i dun have.
ok, after that we go back to class and i recieved a flower. real one.
from CNST. haha. that's her full name.
she got same chinese name as me lar! so coincidental. haha.
yup, she surprised me. and made my day for sending me a daisy flower. hehez.
after was more chocolates. ha.
my teammates were probably a little bit more creative.
YL gave us all a rubber bad to tie our hair, with 2 'rambutans' attached. ha!
A gave chocolates + a photo of our team.
M gave a sticker to stick to our ezlink card.
F gave something, i think it's a bookmark + some choc.
XM & S treat us all pizzas.
+ XM gave us each a banana with lots of love. ha!
MQ gave us a cute cookie each.
K gave a doorknob hanger, and she made it herself.
yup yup, i guess that's all.
they're so sweet. and i think our sch really have the valentine's day mood!
haha.
oh ya forgot to say.
IT'S WEIKOK's BDAY TODAY! (what a nice day to celebrate bday)
GUESS WHAT! HE GOT CAKE ALL OVER HIS FACE WHEN WE"RE CELEBRATING FOR HIM! HAHA! KENA CAKE ON HIS WHOLE FACE. J AND WM ARE THE MAIN CULPRITS! LOL. and we(girls) had to clean p their mess. ha!

okok. time to stop. here's some pics!!! =)

banana from XM!!!

it's time to do hmk le! hope i'll be able to finish.
i need time.

unlucky unlucky unlucky!

serious thinks that this year is not going to be a good year for me.
just monday training i injured myself.
1st training in the year of rat.
me fingernail 'drop'.
i jus wanted to defend myself from the coming ball, yet my fingernail got chipped.
damn painful la. bleeding hard too.
couldnt control myself, burst out crying.
went to the toilet, cried while washing my finger.
all thought it was the pain that made me cry.
but the truth is, i'm just so disappointed with myself.
cant seem to play well. really. the more i think, the worse it gets.
tears just kept flowing, and i felt so useless.
nothing i do seems to go well.
i'm really at the edge of giving up.
yet, my mind has been telling me not to give up.
my mind is really in a whirl.

today, early in the morning, 'sprained' my ankle again.
super painful and i was practically limping all the way to mrt station.
it seems that i just cant stop spraining my ankle.
sian.

also, has been sleeping at 230 am every morning.
early right?
just only 3 and a half hours of sleep every day.
life is so stressful.
i'm already suffocating like hell.
i really need a person to hear me complain.
really.

sch's starting tml...

a few more hours and off we go, back to sch again.
this year's long CNY new year is ending le...
so fast right? haiz.
and yup, as usual, hmk is collecting dust again.

yesterday didnt go bai nian, cause dad had to go work le.
didnt do hmk also cause i was slacking all day.
C suddenly sms me if i want to go play pool.
so i went play with her lor, hehe.
actually i feel like playing mahjong more.
anyway, her mum came too. haha.
cool la. her mum is like 'young at heart'.
ok, hehe. i won her 4-1. yeah! hehe.
and the 1 that she won is i hit the black ball in den she won de.
haha!

today woke up jiu go temple bai bai.
mummy say i had to bai tai shui, so went to the temple (dong shan miao) near yishun swimming complex.
quite a lotta ppl! haah.
den went bugis de guan yin miao bai bai. woah, the ppl there hor keep pushing de leh.
like rushing for something or scared got no chance to bai bai like tt.
and hor, outside right, while walking in, there's this auntie la, she tapped my shoulder den say she leg pain, say that trolley hit her.
but the trolley is another uncle that walk beside me de ma. i also dunno who that uncle is la.
that auntie mo ming qi miao de la. anyhow tap ppl shoulder.
pissed!
anyway, didnt stay for long, bai bai le jiu come back home le.
yup. shall stop le! =)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!

it's the 2nd day of lunar new year today and it was yet another tiring day.
yesterday woke up @ 830am. woken up by mum and dad, saying that we should be early this year.
but anyway, my bro and sis slept till 9 before they're finally up.
still quite early right? haha.
mum & dad went out earlier before us. haha.
met them @ the MRT station after a while.
wore new clothes and shoes. and i quite a regret wearing tt shoe. cause it gave me blisters!!!
anyway, this year's new year was terribly quite.
not as 're nao' as previous years.
just normal bai-nianing around Singapore. haha.
went to my xiao jiu house @ around 6pm. and well, we're not the last to arrived this year! ha!
played with my 6 years old cousin and saw my long-time-never-see cousins.
and this year we didnt take any pics. abit sad. ha.
yup, and we watch tv till 10pm before heading home.
1st thing was to count $$$. not much this year. =( but anyway, it's better than nothing. ha!
and slept like a pig till this morning.
woken up by dad, saying that we're late. haha.
well, it's not so bad to be late. haha. cause we get to take a cab, which is like so much more comfortable and fast!
actually we wanted to watch 'Ah Long ptd limited'
but all tickets sold out. haha.
in the end played mahjong @ my dad's bro de house. till like 8 plus and after that came home.
my eyes closing le. shall stop here le ba.
going to zzz liao!
hehe.
once again...
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!


okays. here's some outdated photos when my bro had his POP...
this's my mum and sis's bady cake respectively. ha.

sis bday!

yesterday kind of light up my life a little.
slept till i woke up naturally.
went to meet Z @ bugis @ 1130.
haha. was damn early, some shops @ bugis street was still closed.
anyway, managed to buy 2 dresses. haha.
they're the 1st in my whole maybe 17 years ba.
but i think is less than 17 years cause when i was just a little girl i think i got wear dress.
ok. to be more specific, they're they first ones that i bought on my own.
Z helped me chose 1 of it. haha.
one cost $16.90 while the other is $33.
tried to haggle prices but wasnt successful.

this is the $33 one. + belt $13.

went 'soup spoon' to have sort of a 'tea break'
den YS came to meet us, and went back to bugis street again!
haha. cause she wanted to buy things there.
ok, and before we left bugis, i got myself a belt which cost $13.
well, we sort of forgot the time and was late.
reached JY house @ about 5 plus and realise that still got ppl haven reach.
haha. anyway, we started eating first. ha!
after tt was a game finding oranges. haha. it's called ORANGE MANIAC according to LX.
i found 2 of them!!! =)
and the prize of winning is that we get to eat the orange candy that we've found. -.-

ok, reached home damn late, around 10 plus.
bathe and slack around till 11 before starting to do hmk.
slept @ about 12 and woke up @ 230 am to finish hmk.
went back to sleep again @ 530 am in the morning and woke up @ 6am.
was sort of late for the napfa screening today. ha.
well, A was later than me. hehe. passed all.
i guess my sit-ups really cannot make it.
haha. oh ya. managed to sneak into LT4 to watch 'the one'.
actually didnt see them perform la. i go in right they already announce who's the winner le.
it's the girl, from cedar!
her voice damn nice, like professional singer like tt lah!
haha. so envious of her.
how i wish i've got a voice like hers.

today's my sis bday!!!
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, SIS!!!
STAY HAPPY AND PRETTY ALWAYS!
haha.

she's still not back from work yet! and there's a bday cake waiting for her here.
ha! hope she can be back before her bday officially ends.

ok. still have hmk not done and needs it tml.
i think this year's CNY abit not like CNY.
dere's so much to do during this break because much of the work will be due just after CNY.
pls, i need time. because i need sleep.

how to be happy?

i just feel so not happy.
it seems that the seed of hatred has been growing sliently in my heart.
now i know what's it like to dislike someone so much.
i just dun feel happy.
had been forcing my muscles at the corner of my mouth to tilt up.
felt like crying again, yet there's still no tears.

should i just give up or continue fighting?