all grown up.

suddenly i realised that everyone had all grown up,
all grown up into thinking and mature young people.
i'm just so afraid that i'll be left behind, so scared.

i wasnt working hard enough.
i know.
i'm always sleeping, yet it doesnt help me concentrate.
it just increase the guilt in me, reminding me that i'm not working.
temptations @ home, yet i'm too lazy to go out to study.
and i realise how hard it was for my sis last year, with all the temptations that i've created.

read newspaper this morning, local universities are damn popular.
everyone is fighting for a place in local U, competition is tough.
besides results, other factors were considered.
HAving good results helps, but when everyone is becoming outstanding, many is getting DISTINCTIONS so easily...
i feel i'm so useless.
seriously, half of my confindence was gone.
because i know i'm not hardworking enough,
because i know i had to work harder than anyone else.

training this march hol was okay i guess.
played well, my teammates were happy for me.
at least that's some comfort.
i'm just worried that this would last how long.
A div competition coming, Championship was our target.

had a great econs teacher.
she's very very encouraging, always sharing her own experiences.
she always gives her best, that's what i think.
She's GREAT. really.